The Apostle Paul was steeped in religion. For thirty years or so, he had been taught the way of the law… a works-based religion. In addition, he rose quickly to prominence in the Pharisaic world. He was taught legalism, hypocrisy, judgment, and unholy righteousness from an early age. These things shaped how he viewed God, people, and the world. He saw through darkened lenses. But when he had his encounter with Jesus in Acts 9, he became a new person. The old was gone, the new was here. I’m confident he had lots of roadblocks to overcome… he needed to rethink things, understand things in a new light, and be able to move forward into grace.
But to move forward into grace, though, he needed to crucify his old life to the cross. It was probably a daily sacrifice. He HAD to nail to the cross his old way of thinking. He had been forced to believe that Jesus was not the Messiah, that people of lower status didn’t matter, and one needed to obey the whole law to be right with God. All these things had to be nailed to the cross if he wanted to move forward into grace and into the work God had put before him.
We are shaped by our growing-up years too. But some of that stuff may be keeping us stuck from moving forward with God. Maybe you spent years under the thumb of a controller, or caught in the web of a manipulator, or spent your childhood in a legalistic church or denomination. Perhaps things that were said to you or things that were done to you have shaped how you view life and how you view God. These things can cause us to have poor self-images and a lack of confidence. I do believe that many Christians are stuck… unable to move forward with God simply because of past trauma.
If you feel stuck and unable to move forward. If you feel inferior or bad about yourself, then you may need to ask God to show you what’s holding you back. What you haven’t let go of. And then I want to encourage you to do what Paul did… nail it to the cross. You may want to literally do this. Write down what you believe is holding you back… the hurt, the pain, the distorted thoughts, the bondage caused by something in your past. And then nail it to a board or something and let God take it from you. This may need be a daily activity until it is truly gone. Let the cross have the final word.